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"When Your Boss Speaks, I Never Understand Him!

1/22/2017

“When your boss speaks, I never understand him!” It was April of 2012 when I read those words. I had recently sent each of my Directors a series of questions to find out how they really thought things were going with my leadership. I’ve found that people tend to be more direct and open when they have time to think and provide written feedback. I wanted the truth, and I got it. Among other things (which I talk about here), I learned I had a communication problem!

Through the questionnaire, one Director shared with me that others on our team were very confused whenever I shared a new idea or gave an update on our strategy. After a meeting, someone actually came up and said to him, “When your boss speaks, I never understand him!” This was a person who carried major responsibilities for leading and guiding the work of others. If he was confused, as close as he was to the source, you can image how bad it was for the 33 other people who were trying to make sense of what I was saying. If you want others to give you the type of feedback that started my leadership transformation, you can join the Leadership Transformation Roundtable and receive a free copy of the questionnaire I used.

Over time, I learned what went wrong. Here is what used to drive my communication with others and caused me to be ineffective.

I operated out of assumptions- I assumed that I already knew what people needed to know. If I didn’t think they needed to know, I didn’t share it. Mindreading is not a gift anyone has and pretending you have it will derail you just like it derailed me.
I operated out of arrogance- I didn’t pay any attention to what facts others thought were important. I believed only my thoughts mattered. I acted as if I was the one who had the important information, not others. While I wasn’t a jerk, I was an arrogant nice guy.
I operated out of control- I didn’t want anyone to know how scared I was that the plans wouldn’t work. I talked a lot and didn’t ask for feedback because I was afraid someone would ask a question that I couldn’t answer. I believed if I controlled the information I could control peoples view of me as a leader. So I talked, a lot!

These three beliefs also led to me talking way over the heads of other people. I would use big strategic words and pass around colorful spreadsheets, all designed to communicate I was capable. I created a culture of confusion, instability, and frustration. Looking back, the message I sent others can be summarized by what Jim Lundy wrote in his book, Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way.

“We the uninformed, working for the inaccessible, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful!”

Thankfully, through the hard work of Executive Coaching, I was able to change my behavior. I can help you improve your communication skills using the same coaching process that turned my leadership around. Register for your free strategy session here.

There’s a better way to communicate and it starts with connecting. I want to share with you three keys to winning with communication that my mentor, John C. Maxwell, has taught me. They’ve increased my effectiveness and when you use them, you’ll increase your leadership impact and add value to those around you.

Three Keys To Winning With Communication

Be available- choose to spend time with people. Instead of staying in your office to cull through email or review the latest sales forecast, get out there and demonstrate to the team with your presence that you are there for them.
Listen- Give up the idea that your mouth is more valuable than your ears. Listening tells your team how much you care more than your words ever will. Stop filling the conversation with your words!
Ask Questions- Be interested in others enough to ask them questions that show it’s true. Rather than asking if they’ve completed a certain task, ask them what about their work fuels their passion. No one is impressed with hearing your opinions, they are looking for someone interested in hearing theirs!

W. Shane McKenzie is an executive coach who helps leaders achieve greater effectiveness and become more fulfilled in their work by facilitating positive changes in their leadership behaviors. Join the Leadership Transformation Roundtable to get your copy of the questionnaire I used to discover gaps in my communication with others.

What others are saying about W. Shane McKenzie

"I’ve worked with Shane for several years. He possesses a unique and highly effective combination of strategy, team leader and great communicator, a rare combination. He has a very strategic mind so he makes connections and sees disjointed paths where others do not. This allows him to both plot direction and execute the path to success. He’s truly committed to the greatness in others. He listens fully, asks the right questions at the right time, and gives us the space to both think and respond." - Linda Lindquist-Bishop, Strategic Facilitator, Speaker, Exit Planning for Business Owners, and World Champion Athlete

Register for your free strategy session here.

“Shane is a trusted peer whose advice I seek when faced with leadership challenges. He brings clarity to tough situations and has been an objective sounding board for over 14 years!” – Pamela Westbrooks, Vice President of Administration

How Difference Makers Make Mondays Work

1/8/2017

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I’m writing this while thinking about you. It’s Sunday, and you’re wrapping up a great weekend with your friends and family! Now, you’re slightly shifting into work mode, preparing for the week ahead. We all do this, right?

Maybe you’ve looked at your calendar to see what projects require your time tomorrow or maybe you’ve scrolled through your inbox and replied to a few emails. You might be excited to jump right in tomorrow morning or you may be a bit anxious about what’s ahead when you get to the office. Whichever way you’ve chosen to prepare and whatever it is you’re feeling like as you do, it’s driven by your desire to be effective. You’re the one I’m thinking about. You’re the one who’s asking, “What can I do to be at my personal best this week and achieve something that makes a difference?”

What really makes Mondays work isn't our well thought out plans or our well documented next steps. Those things are important but their not what makes it work. What makes Monday work is the group of people you and I interact with and depend on to move anything forward. I want to help by giving you real ways you can increase your effectiveness and truly make your Mondays work.

3 Ways To Make Mondays Work

Realize that no remarkable achievement will ever come from anyone going alone. I used to believe that if it was “important” then I had to be the one who did it. Someone else might not be as thorough or care as much about the quality as I would. What I discovered was operating like that caused me to take on more responsibility than was necessary and it isolated me from my team. What’s not important in the business, yeah? I was grabbing everything! Over time, I learned that being at your best doesn’t mean taking it all on yourself. These questions helped me think through how to bring others into the work for the week and maybe they’ll do the same for you this week.
1. Are you really the only one who could do what needs to be done?
2. Who else do you need to help you with that project?
3. Who can do the work 80% as good as you and needs to be empowered?
4. What would it feel like if you increased the number of people who are capable of handling 5 of those tasks that are taking up your time to prepare for the week ahead?

Realize that bringing others with you has more to do with your behavior than it does their competency. Here’s the deal. You hired others because they’re good at what they do! However, the thought of not being the one to do it all could cause you to resist empowering them. I used to believe that if I wasn’t doing it all then I wasn’t needed or valuable to the company. I bought in to the idea that leadership was managing everything. My team unintentionally became a means to my end- getting things done. That’s good if you’re working alone but it falls short when your working with people. These questions will help you determine if there’s something your believing that doesn’t line up with being your best this week.
1. Is this really something that only I can and should be doing this week?
2. Have I clearly set an expectation of what needs to be done so that the person responsible has all the information they need to win?
3. Do I need to provide training to someone so I can empower him or her?
4. What do I need to start, stop, or keep doing related to this particular work?

If you’ve already been made aware that this is a blind spot for you and you’re looking for help navigating through the process of changing you’re behaviors, I’m ready to come along side you. Register for your free strategy session here.

Realize the single greatest limiter to your success is your current leadership ability. There was a time when I acted like my title and position made me a leader. I believed that because I held them both, others were obliged to follow me, and if they didn’t something was wrong with them. This was such an embarrassing mistake, but I learned a valuable lesson! I learned it’s possible to want others to join you in getting work done and still feel stuck. I even thought I was empowering others but wasn't seeing the results I wanted. I learned that the greatest limiter of my and my teams success was my leadership ability. If this is happening to you, it’s time to ask yourself some questions.
1. What needs to change for people to follow me, not just comply when their job description says they have to?
2. What action will I take that communicates my belief in the people I want to empower this week?
3. What do I need to do in order to gain more buy-in to me, before I ask others to buy-in to the work I want completed?
4. Who can help me clearly see the reality of my influence and impact on others at work?

W. Shane McKenzie is an executive coach who helps leaders achieve greater effectiveness and become more fulfilled in their work by facilitating positive changes in their leadership behaviors. Join the Leadership Transformation Roundtable to get your copy of the questionnaire I use to discover how close my intentions match the reality of those I lead.

What others are saying about W. Shane McKenzie

"I’ve worked with Shane for several years. He possesses a unique and highly effective combination of strategy, team leader and great communicator, a rare combination. He has a very strategic mind so he makes connections and sees disjointed paths where others do not. This allows him to both plot direction and execute the path to success. He’s truly committed to the greatness in others. He listens fully, asks the right questions at the right time, and gives us the space to both think and respond." - Linda Lindquist-Bishop, Strategic Facilitator, Speaker, Exit Planning for Business Owners, and World Champion Athlete

“Shane is a trusted peer whose advice I seek when faced with leadership challenges. He brings clarity to tough situations and has been an objective sounding board for over 14 years!” – Pamela Westbrooks, Vice President of Administration

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"When Your Boss Speaks, I Never Understand Him!

How Difference Makers Make Mondays Work

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