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Who Else Wants To Know The Truth About Influence?

12/21/2016

 
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Growing up I had to share a bathroom with my mom. On the counter sat an oval vanity mirror. One side magnified my facial features and the other side reflected me the way I was used to seeing myself. The way I thought I should look. My mom used the magnifying side to be sure every detail of her air and makeup was in place. It gave a deeper impression than the standard side of the mirror. I looked in it from time to time and I found it revealed more of who I really was than the general impression I got from the other side. As an Executive Coach and Leadership Mentor, I’ve found there are also two sides to our leadership impact. Just like there were two sides to my Mom's mirror.
 
First, there is the impact we believe our business behaviors have on those we lead or interact with on a daily basis. What's business behavior? It's how we communicate with our words, facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language as we are going about doing our daily work with others. It's how we set expectations for people who we need to help us get work done, and also our ability to follow through on commitments we make involving others. For the most part, we all have the intention of making a positive impact on those we lead. We want to do well for others and be our best for them.
 
Because of our desires to lead well, we often form an opinion of how we must be perceived by others that matches our understanding of "good leadership". We create a general image of who we are based on who we aspire to be, and we like it. So, that's the narrative we use when answering the question, "how well am I leading?". Emphasizing our intentions alone can lead us to a dangerous place. A place where we see our "wish we were" image and not the impact our current actions are having on others. This is where what most refer to as blind-spots originate.
 
Second, there is the reality of how our business behaviors actually affect those we lead and interact with on a daily basis. This is the magnified side of the mirror. It's here that our intentions meet the truth of what others experience as a result of our presence in their world. The ideal of course is that our intentions match up with the reality of how we behave in the business context. That's called integrity- integrating our intentions with our behaviors. You see, it’s the combination of both sides of the mirror that tells the truth. We need both our intentions and reality in order to grow.
 
We can't determine how much integrity we have between our words and our actions if we are only listening to our interpretation of "the facts". We have to do the hard work and ask those closest to us in our business how we are actually affecting them. And that's hard. I know it’s hard because I’ve been on the receiving end of a 360 evaluation where the truth of how my actions were impacting the team was revealed. You can read about that here.
 
It’s hard because a disconnection between our intentions and our actions creates problems in our leadership. If I tell you how much I value honesty as a leader and when you're honest with me I am consistently defensive in response, there is an issue! The less aware we are of our blind spots, the greater the chance we’re falling short of delivering on our intentions. No one likes to see disparity between their intentions and their actions. It often hurts. It makes us afraid. We run away from pain and we tend to fight what we fear. So, we never rotate the mirror to see the other side- we just gaze into the side that tells us what we hope is real. We decide it's safer to not know the truth. If you’ve already been made aware of your blind spots and you’re looking for help navigating through the process of changing you’re behaviors, I’m ready to come along side you.  Register for your free strategy session here.
 
A lack of intentional action, once you know you have to change to be a more effective leader, is the genesis for stunting your leadership growth. It's the birthplace of complacency and it will prevent you from pushing forward toward achieving more of what you truly want- to be the best version of you as a leader. It doesn't have to be this way. You can face the fear and subdue the anger that may come when you face the disparity between your intentions and reality.
 
So, get with a trusted friend and tell them you want to rotate the mirror and see a deeper level of reality. Tell them you want to know how your business behavior is affecting those you work with on a daily basis and that you want to see the truth of how closely your behavior matches your intentions. Ask them to be a sounding board and a confidant as you walk through the process. Then, ask five people you work with on a daily basis these 3 questions:


  1. What do you think I am all about?
  2. What am I committed to?
  3. When is it hardest to relate to me?
 
W. Shane McKenzie is an executive coach who helps leaders achieve greater effectiveness and become more fulfilled in their work by facilitating positive changes in their leadership behaviors. Join the
Leadership Transformation Roundtable to get your copy of the questionnaire I use to discover how close my intentions match the reality of those I lead.
 
What others are saying about W. Shane McKenzie
 
"I’ve worked with Shane for several years. He possesses a unique and highly effective combination of strategy, team leader and great communicator, a rare combination. He has a very strategic mind so he makes connections and sees disjointed paths where others do not. This allows him to both plot direction and execute the path to success. He’s truly committed to the greatness in others. He listens fully, asks the right questions at the right time, and gives us the space to both think and respond." - Linda Lindquist-Bishop, Strategic Facilitator, Speaker, Exit Planning for Business Owners, and World Champion Athlete
 
“Shane is a trusted peer whose advice I seek when faced with leadership challenges. He brings clarity to tough situations and has been an objective sounding board for over 14 years!” – Pamela Westbrooks, Vice President of Administration

The Time I Had To Face The Music As A Leader

12/15/2016

 
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That day in March started out like many other typical days at the office. I imagine that on the winding drive in from the entrance to the corporate headquarters there were signs of spring in the Carolina's. Azaleas beginning to bloom and Bradford Pear trees bursting with white blossoms, all together creating a sense of growth and excitement in the air. Spring sends a strong signal of new beginnings, doesn't it? A true symphony of hope emerging.

I had recently sent an impromptu questionnaire to the four department Directors who reported to me. When I put the questions together, I couldn't help but think about how good of a job I was doing as a leader. As a team, we were winning as far as I could tell.. An organizational restructuring earlier in the year had changed our direction. We collaborated to build new operational plans, redefined roles and responsibilities, and proposed a series of initiatives to our Executive Team. In my mind, we were at the top of our game. I would have told you then that I was dialed in and we were firing on all cylinders. In fact, I was so confident things were going well that I believed sending the team a set of questions asking how I could improve as a leader would result in their verbally supporting my leadership. Maybe there would be a few tweaks needed, but I figured the act itself would be a good demonstration of my continuous concern for the team. Win-win! At the time, I would not have admitted the real reasons behind the questionnaire. Instead, I would have told you I wanted to improve as a leader! However, growing my leadership wasn't truly the motivation at all.

Through email, I asked my team how well defined their roles were, how empowered they believed they were to make decisions, and requested they identify things I should either start, stop, or continue doing as the leader to make them more effective in their job. Later that morning as I sat at my desk, I began to receive email responses from each team member. You know that adrenaline rush you get when you know something good is coming your way and how you can feel enthusiasm bubbling up inside? This was me! Energized is one way to describe it. That's the way I felt just before opening the first response. Here's what I read, “I’m going out on a limb here. You asked me to be honest, not make you feel good, so that's how I answered."

Huh, not exactly what I was expecting but not a lost cause either. They probably have had other people long ago say they wanted feedback, and if what they provided was even loosely tied to pointing out another leaders flaws, it may have come back to bite them. As I read…I thought, "they’re overreacting. I'm not that kind of a leader and what they shared can't be THAT bad, right?" Right.

The remainder of the reviews of my leadership weren't much better. In fact, they were worse, One by one I read through answers my team provided that day. "You're a great guy, but I really don't think you’re the type of leader who can lead me very well.", "I've worked for you a long time and telling you these things isn't easy for me.", "You say you believe in the team but I never feel like you trust me to do my job." (Join my
Leadership Transformation Roundtable to get your copy of the questionnaire I used and discover where you stand with your team.)

I remember feeling like I was in a bad dream. As I sat at my desk at the end of the day, I didn't want to leave the office. I kept clicking back and forth between individual responses. Rereading all of the ugly details of the impact I was having on the people I was “leading”. But, it was too bad to not look. Like a scene in a movie where you are drawn to it for all of the wrong reasons, but you can't look away either! I was shocked, numb, and dazed. My heart was racing and I was experiencing a cold sweat all at once. The feeling you get when you have the flu.
​
What did I see? I saw that I wasn't an effective communicator, I was a know it all. I wasn't an inspiration, I was a morale killer. I wasn't empowering people, I was controlling them. I wasn't building a strong culture, I was poisoning it. I saw that I had been blind to the truth of my leadership impact on the team. In drastic contrast to the freshness of spring, seen in the blooms and the blossoms from earlier that morning, I was now facing the harsh reality of pruning. Eve though pruning allows for new growth to occur, its still hard to turn and face the music. I had a lot of dead branches that needed to be cut away in order for new and healthier fruit to emerge. It all started with that one questionnaire. This was the moment I realized something had to change and that something was me!

The entire experience sent me on a journey to discover the truth about my leadership. It drove me to define a path for eliminating the habits I was comfortable with and building new habits that bring out the best in others. It drove me to define and eliminate my limiting beliefs that were keeping me and others from achieving our personal best. In fact, it drove me to pursue developing myself as a leader where I would learn how to put my intentions as a leader on the chopping block, realizing it's only my actions that people experience. I learned that aspirations as a leader never trump the actions of a leader when it comes to your character and the connection you make with others. A journey that, now looking back, was a catalyst for me becoming uniquely qualified as an executive coach to help others do the same.

I've walked the road of leadership transformation. It's not something I can just sympathize with you about, it's something I can identify with. I've literally been there! I know the fear that invades your mind and heart when you discover that you aren't who you thought you were in the eyes of those closest to you at work. I understand what you mean when you say, "I'm so embarrassed to hear how I've impacted the team!" I know what it is like to be stuck wondering, "How in the world do I make this right?" I know, I've been there, too. And, I know the way through to the other side. I've walked the path of transformation and now I'm here looking to guide others who want to do the same. I can't do it for you but I can be with you each step of the way, helping you navigate based on my familiarity with what's required to create lasting change.

I've made it my mission to help others build a bridge across that cavernous gap between where they are now and where they want to be as a leader. I'm not satisfied with having built a single bridge across for myself. I want to help others, like you, to build their own bridge. I want to help you experience the clarity, confidence, and conviction that I know exists on the other side! You'll have renewed passion, you'll see new opportunities, and you'll access untapped potential to increase your business results. If you want to take responsibility for leading yourself and you're done blaming others as a way to dismiss problems you've created, then you're ready to start your own journey towards transforming your leadership. When you're stunned by your teams feedback, you wont have to figure it out on your own. I'll come alongside you. We'll start with a free 20 minute strategy session that will give you a clear understanding of how executive coaching can deliver the results you're seeking. You can schedule your session right here.

W. Shane McKenzie is an executive coach who helps leaders achieve greater effectiveness and become more fulfilled in their work by facilitating positive changes in their leadership behaviors. Join the
Leadership Transformation Roundtable to get your copy of the questionnaire I used and discover where you stand with your team

What others are saying about W. Shane McKenzie

"I’ve worked with Shane for several years. He possesses a unique and highly effective combination of strategy, team leader and great communicator. A rare combination. He has a very strategic mind so he makes connections and sees disjointed paths where others do not. This allows him to both plot direction and execute the path to success. He’s truly committed to the greatness in others. He listens fully, asks the right questions at the right time, and gives us the space to both think and respond." - Linda Lindquist-Bishop, Strategic Facilitator, Speaker, Exit Planning for Business Owners, and World Champion Athlete

“Shane is a trusted peer whose advice I seek when faced with leadership challenges. He brings clarity to tough situations and has been an objective sounding board for over 14 years!” – Pamela Westbrooks, Vice President of Administration

Controlling Habits Are Making Your Team Sick!

12/5/2016

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“I’m the one who decides what we do around here”, are words I’ve never said. But, as leader, my actions have spoken them way to often!

Our executive team meeting that day was like many I had attended. All the Vice Presidents were sharing weekly department updates. On this particular day, a direct report was in attendance with me to deliver an update on a corporate project that our division was in charge of completing. He did a great job! He was engaging and connected well with everyone. His presentation was clear and people saw how his plan could help us win as an organization.

​He was so good that our Executive VP let him know he was the perfect person to be leading the project and that he should run with the ideas he presented. Poised and polished would be two words I could have used to compliment him. But, I didn’t.  Instead, once the meeting was over and we were walking back to our offices, I pulled him aside and said, “Hey, let’s make sure we are on the same page. Before you run with the ideas you presented in the meeting, I’d like you to run them buy me again, this time in greater detail. Before you act on them, let me take a look. Sound good?”
 
This incident wasn’t the only time I behaved in a controlling way. It was a habit. Those days I believed that if you’re the person sitting at the head of the table or carrying the card with the higher title, it’s your job to tell other people what to do. I was afraid that if people were valuable on their own, without me, then that made my position vulnerable. I was also jealous. I wanted the praise. When a leader behaves the way I did that day, there are consequences.  They’re not pretty.
 
For me, my actions resulted in a member of my team doubting his abilities. He was super confused because I told him how confident I was in him while also indicating I wanted to see everything he was planning to do before he acted on it. I managed him into a fear of speaking up, stepping out, or crossing the line. My actions confused him to the point where he was no longer sure exactly what he was and was not responsible for in his role. Did anyone nominate me for executive of the year? Uh, no that’s a negative. As is always the case, I reaped exactly what I had sown. My bad habits produced a culture of doubt, criticism, cynicism, fear, and eventually jeopardized the morale and productivity of more than 30 people under my direction. I was a leader who had lost the confidence of my followers.
 
Today, in my work as an executive coach, I come across leaders from time to time who believe they have to stay in control in order to be valuable. They talk about empowering their team but they act in a controlling manner. Like me on that day outside the boardroom, they are unaware of the negative impact their business behavior is having on their leadership influence. The get caught in the trap of believing their intentions to empower others overcomes their behavior to the contrary. It doesn’t work that way.
 
It takes a secure leader to empower a team. As my experience testifies, an insecure leader can’t empower because there is too much at risk personally for the leader. The only option with this attitude is to control. No matter how nicely you do it, controlling is still controlling. Neither your personality nor your competence will ever make up for your faulty leadership behavior.
 
As leaders, we are affecting people with our words and actions. We are influencing others. The question is for better or worse. Do people act on your directives because there job description says they have to or are they acting on them because they want to do it? When a person feels empowered at work they’re more likely to be producing from a “want-to mentality”. How much do you think my lack of leadership ability was costing our organization with a team of “have-to” followers, churning out redundant work and sitting in endless meetings needed to keep me in control of people? It was costly indeed!
 
Thankfully, if you happen to find your story is eerily similar to mine, you too can change the ending. Just like me, you can face the reality of where you are failing to empower and make a decision to build new habits that will increase your influence on your team for the better. Most likely you’ve never set out to sabotage your team, but until you get intentional about building habits to prevent it, you’re at risk of doing just that. To make lasting changes in my behavior and create a more productive team environment, I focused on accountability and worked out of a few key principles. When you’re ready to start empowering instead of controlling others, here’s what you can do.
 
How To Empower Others Instead Of Controlling Them


  1. Become Dispensable- Decide to create leaders around you who can do it better than you. The contribution you make to the organization will be greater than any individual contribution you could possibly make by trying to control things. You’ll truly become indispensable!
  2. Embrace Change- Growth is a byproduct of empowerment. When you empower others things are constantly changing. You’ll grow and your team members will grow, but only if you’re able to embrace change rather than shrink back into the old habits of control.​
  3. Value Yourself- Not valuing ourselves causes you and I to worry about how we look, what others think, and whether or not we are liked. An insecure person feels they have no power and you certainly can’t give away what you don’t have. When we feel insecure we will grab control to try and overcome it by keeping work and people “close”.
 
W. Shane McKenzie is an executive coach who helps leaders achieve greater effectiveness and become more fulfilled in their work by facilitating positive changes in their leadership behaviors. Want to learn more about working with Shane to transform your leadership? Visit
ww.wshane.com
 
What others are saying about W. Shane McKenzie
 
“Shane is a trusted peer whose advice I seek when faced with leadership challenges. He brings clarity to tough situations and has been an objective sounding board for over 14 years!” – P. Westbrooks, Vice President of Administration

 


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    W. Shane McKenzie is an Executive Coach and Mentor who specializes in helping successful leaders leave their job to own a business using proven strategies to minimize risk.

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